I'd have a third of its real estate and four-fifths of its population, but I would not be happy until I had seized the ripest apple on the tree.

So I would set about to take over the United States. I would begin with a campaign of whispers.

With the wisdom of a serpent, I would whisper to you as I whispered to Eve: "Do as you please."

To the young I would whisper that "The Bible is a myth." I would convince them that man created Cod instead of the other way around. I'd confide that "what's bad is good and what's good is 'square."

And the old I would teach to pray to after me, "Our Father— who are in Washington."

I'd educate authors in how to make lurid literature exciting, so that anything else would appear dull, uninteresting. I'd threaten television with dirtier movies.

I'd peddle narcotics to whom I could. I'd sell alcohol to ladies and gentlemen of distinction- I'd tranquilize the rest with pills.

If I were the devil,I'd soon have families,churches and nations at war with themselves. Until each, in turn, was consumed.

If I were the devil, I would encourage schools to refine intellects but neglect to discipline emotions - just let those run wild. until well before you knew it you'd have drug-sniffing dogs and metal detectors at every schoolhouse door.

Within a decade, I'd have prisons overflowing and judges promoting pornography.

Soon I could evict God from the courthouse and the schoolhouse and then from the houses of Congress.

In His own churches, I would substitute psychology for religion and deify science. I'd lure priests and pastors into misusing children and church money.

If I were the devil, I'd make the symbol of Easer an egg and the symbol of Christmas a bottle.

If I were the devil, I'd take from those who have and give to those who wanted until I had killed the incentive of the ambitious.

What'll you bet I couldn't get whole states to promote gambling as the way to get riche

I would caution against extremes in hard work, in patriotism and moral conduct.

I'd convince the young that marriage is old-fashioned, that what you see on TV is the way to be. And thus I could undress you in public and lure into bed with diseases for which there is no cure.

In other words, if I were the devil, I'd just keep right on doing what he's doing.